I returned to work after attempting full-time entrepreneurship…and now I’m quitting again.

I wanted to quit my job and so I did. No, I do not have another job lined up.

I hated it. I hated my corporate job that I’d worked so hard to land.

It was too demanding. I was overworked and stressed out. Broke(n) — because I was sad and struggling financially. I was underpaid, as many of us are. Some days I’d just look out the window and watch children play while my own anxieties rose through my chest to meet the developing migraine in my head. DOON DOON, WOO WOMP WOMP. I can still hear the dreaded (yet whimsical) Teams sounds that glared at me at 8am and even 8pm. 

I was working for someone else while my own dreams lingered in the background, whimpering for my attention.

In my spare time (as in late nights and weekends), I was building an art and wellness studio in my college town. A new dream was emerging.

I began to feel the pressure of working full-time while launching an entrepreneurial venture. I once cried on a Teams call in front of a coworker. She responded, “It’s OK! I cried on a Teams call last week. No worries.” SIS, LOTS OF WORRIES. Why are we crying at work?

Anyways. Two months later, I quit that job.

My plan? To teach pole dancing classes full-time at my new studio.

Yes, that was the plan — and it wasn’t a bad one. I’d seen other women teaching pole fitness online and it appeared as though they were making a decent living (although the reality we see online can rarely be confirmed). If only I could reach in and ask these women, “Are you truly happy? Are your bills paid?” Alas,  societal respectivities* had not progressed that far.

*Respectivities: norms, expectations, and acts deemed respectable or otherwise acceptable.

I taught classes and rented out the space to collegiate student organizations whenever I wasn’t teaching.

Long story short, I failed.

I wasn’t generating nearly enough money to pay my bills, but I did make enough money to scrap by for a few months. That was a win in itself. It’s just hard to recognize your wins when you’re being threatened with evictions and watching your car get towed away.

Getting my car repossessed was the final straw. I had to go back to work - screaming and crying down the walls, with snot bubbles rolling down my face. 

I literally cried up and down the streets of an autumn Tallahassee, Florida asking God, “WHY!?” “WHY DO I HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK?” God kindly directed me to LinkedIn where a message already awaited.

I am good at getting jobs, especially when I’m broke. God sent me the opportunity and by January of 2024, I was sitting back in an office — this time, with a lot more work-life balance and a flexible working arrangement. I led amazing, life-changing projects and sat at the head of tables I hadn’t previously known existed.

Returning to work wasn’t so bad. It actually gave me the freedom to steadily grow my business without the burden of trying to live off of it.

In the 7-8 months of me working another 9-5, my entrepreneurial revenue doubled. We transitioned to a more sustainable revenue model, built a membership program, hired new instructors, made renovations to the space, acquired mentors, and even got accepted into a cohort program for business owners. I even saved enough money to get a new apartment! Maybe I was supposed to go back to work all along. Nevertheless, I was still drained.

When organizations meet a talented Black woman, there’s a tendency to work talented Black woman until talented Black woman is exhausted Black woman.

Did I mention that I was underpaid in comparison to my counterparts in the industry? That’s a whole ‘nother essay.

I fear that many don’t understand how it feels to be us. The caregiver. The example. The mule at work, at home, and in our communities. (Note: I love the work I do for my loved ones and in the community, but it is work nonetheless). I can’t overstate how many people rely on us. Who will care for us?

I now dreamt of a soft life where I can make money, generously, and on my own terms. The winds of change have called me again to chase this reality.

So, I am quitting my job…again!

Even with clear business success and new acumen, I feel a bit silly. Fortunately, I have the examples of Issa Rae, Pinky Cole, Jasmin Foster, and other powerhouses in the business space to keep me focused and inspired. As Black women continue to face disparities in business funding and education, I understand why my journey has been difficult. Still, I carry on.

A week from today, I’ll be a full time entrepreneur again. 

I wonder if I’ll be able to live off the fruits of my labor this time around.

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